Skeleton Woman

Skeleton Woman, who spent an eon lying under the water, can also be understood as a woman’s unused and misused Life/Death/Life force. In her vital and resurrected form, she governs the intuitive and emotive abilities to complete the life cycles of birthings and endings, grievings and celebrations.

Estés defines Skeleton Woman as the psyche’s latent Life/Death/Life force — the capacity for cyclical completion — which awaits activation through the courage of conscious love.

Clarissa Pinkola Estés, Ph D, Women Who Run With the Wolves Myths and Stories of the Wild, 2017thesis

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While the Skeleton Woman could be interpreted as representing the movements within a single psyche, I find this tale most valuable when understood as a series of seven tasks that teach one soul to love another deeply and well.

Estés advances a seven-stage relational hermeneutic of the Skeleton Woman tale, treating it as a developmental map for the deepening of love rather than solely an intrapsychic allegory.

Clarissa Pinkola Estés, Ph D, Women Who Run With the Wolves Myths and Stories of the Wild, 2017thesis

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To love means to stay with. It means to emerge from a fantasy world into a world where sustainable love is possible, face to face, bones to bones, a love of devotion. To love means to stay when every cell says ‘run!’

Estés argues that authentic love requires willingness to remain in the presence of the Death nature rather than flee it, redefining devotion as an act of psychic courage.

Clarissa Pinkola Estés, Ph D, Women Who Run With the Wolves Myths and Stories of the Wild, 2017thesis

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While one side of a woman’s dual nature might be called Life, Life’s ‘twin’ sister is a force named Death. The force called Death is one of the two magnetic forks of the wild nature.

Estés introduces Skeleton Woman as the embodiment of the Death pole in the wild feminine’s dual nature, establishing the Life/Death/Life dyad as the theoretical axis of the entire chapter.

Clarissa Pinkola Estés, Ph D, Women Who Run With the Wolves Myths and Stories of the Wild, 2017thesis

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The deeper issue is one of misbelief and distrust. Those who run away forever fear to truly live according to the cycles of the wild and integral nature.

Estés reframes what clinical psychology calls ‘fear of intimacy’ as a deeper flight from the Life/Death/Life cycle itself, with Skeleton Woman as the inescapable psychic reality being fled.

Clarissa Pinkola Estés, Ph D, Women Who Run With the Wolves Myths and Stories of the Wild, 2017thesis

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The goal is to be knowledgeable about the ways of life and death, in one’s own life and in panorama. And the only way to be a knowing man is to go to school in the bones of Skeleton Woman.

Estés positions Skeleton Woman as the necessary teacher of existential wisdom, and identifies the admission of one’s own wound — symbolized by the tear — as the initiatory act that begins this learning.

Clarissa Pinkola Estés, Ph D, Women Who Run With the Wolves Myths and Stories of the Wild, 2017thesis

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‘A wild patience,’ as poet Adrienne Rich puts it, is required in order to untangle the bones, to learn the meaning of Lady Death, to have the tenacity to stay with her.

Estés contrasts the ego’s avoidance of learning with the soul’s capacity for ‘wild patience,’ the necessary virtue for engaging rather than escaping Skeleton Woman.

Clarissa Pinkola Estés, Ph D, Women Who Run With the Wolves Myths and Stories of the Wild, 2017supporting

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Sometimes as a man becomes more free, and closer to the Skeleton Woman, his lover becomes more fearful and has some work of her own to do regarding untangling.

Estés acknowledges that proximity to Skeleton Woman is a relational and not merely individual process — as one partner opens to the Death nature, the other may be thrown into renewed resistance.

Clarissa Pinkola Estés, Ph D, Women Who Run With the Wolves Myths and Stories of the Wild, 2017supporting

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In the end of the story, the fisherman is breath to breath, skin to skin, with the Life/Death/Life nature. We only know that in order to love we must kiss the hag, and more. We must make love with her.

Estés concludes the tale’s exegesis by insisting that full integration of Skeleton Woman requires not mere tolerance but erotic union with the Death nature — a mortal-immortal conjunction.

Clarissa Pinkola Estés, Ph D, Women Who Run With the Wolves Myths and Stories of the Wild, 2017supporting

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We are willing to touch the not-beautiful in another, and in ourselves. Behind this challenge is a cunning test from the Self.

Estés frames the willingness to untangle Skeleton Woman’s bones — to engage what is not beautiful — as a test originating from the Self, aligning the encounter with individuation’s deeper demands.

Clarissa Pinkola Estés, Ph D, Women Who Run With the Wolves Myths and Stories of the Wild, 2017supporting

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At first we all think we can outrun the death aspect of the Life/Death/Life nature. The fact is we cannot. It follows right along behind us, bumpety-bump, thumpety-thump, right into our houses, right into consciousness.

Estés insists on the inescapability of the Death nature, arguing that the Life/Death/Life cycles prevail regardless of the psyche’s defensive maneuvers against them.

Clarissa Pinkola Estés, Ph D, Women Who Run With the Wolves Myths and Stories of the Wild, 2017supporting

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Not realizing she was tangled in his line, he was frightened all the more for she appeared to stand upon her toes while chasing him all the way to shore.

Estés narrates the tale’s central pursuit sequence, dramatizing the psyche’s entanglement with the Death nature it attempts to outrun — what is dragged up from the unconscious cannot simply be thrown back.

Clarissa Pinkola Estés, Ph D, Women Who Run With the Wolves Myths and Stories of the Wild, 2017supporting

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In the story, the fisherman is letting his heart break — not break down, but break open. It is not the love of la teta, the breast milk mother, he wants; not the love of lucre, not the love of power or fame or sexuality.

Estés distinguishes the tear that activates Skeleton Woman’s restoration as an expression of broken-open, non-regressive love — a pivot from dependency to genuine soul-encounter.

Clarissa Pinkola Estés, Ph D, Women Who Run With the Wolves Myths and Stories of the Wild, 2017supporting

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Since time out of mind, the song, like the drum, has been used to create a non-ordinary consciousness, a trance state, a prayer state.

Estés situates the tale’s ‘singing up’ phase within a cross-cultural tradition of sonic ritual, establishing song as the medium by which the fisherman’s heart calls Skeleton Woman’s flesh back to life.

Clarissa Pinkola Estés, Ph D, Women Who Run With the Wolves Myths and Stories of the Wild, 2017aside

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The scythe’s blade is red with the carnage and destruction it leaves in its wake; yet the skeleton’s warm tint and active pose are charged with creative energy.

Nichols’s reading of the Tarot Death card identifies the same paradox of destructive and creative energies cohabiting the skeletal figure, offering a structural parallel to Estés’s Life/Death/Life formulation.

Nichols, Sallie, Jung and Tarot: An Archetypal Journey, 1980aside

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In many primitive societies, each year the old king is symbolically killed, dismembered, and ritually ‘eaten’ to ensure the fertility of the new crops and the revitalization of the kingdom.

Nichols documents the cross-cultural pattern of ritual dismemberment and renewal that underpins the skeletal-death archetype, contextualizing Skeleton Woman within the broader mythic grammar of sacrifice and regeneration.

Nichols, Sallie, Jung and Tarot: An Archetypal Journey, 1980aside

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