We are living at an important and fruitful moment now, for it is clear to men that the images of adult manhood given by the popular culture are worn out; a man can no longer depend on them. By the time a man is thirty-five he knows that the images of the right man, the tough man, the true man which he received in high school do not work in life. Such a man is open to new visions of what a man is or could be.
— Robert Bly
Bly is right that the inherited images collapse — but notice what he does with that collapse. He calls it "an important and fruitful moment," frames the failure of the tough-man icon as an opening, and positions the reader at the threshold of "new visions." That is the ratio of desire doing its quiet work: if the right image can be found, the suffering underneath the old one will finally resolve. The failed image becomes a promissory note on a better image. Bly means well by this, and Iron John is a serious book — but the structure of the argument is still an argument about images, still a search for the figure that will hold.
What the collapse actually discloses is harder than a new vision. The thirty-five-year-old who finds that the tough man does not work has not reached a threshold; he has reached the floor. The images were always covering something the images could not address — the unruliness of a soul that does not organize itself around performance at all. The fruitfulness Bly senses is real, but it is the fruitfulness of exhaustion, not of possibility. Something stops working, and in the silence after it stops, the soul begins to speak in its own register — not toward a new image, but away from the logic of images altogether.
Robert Bly·Iron John: A Book About Men·1990