Hiding her new obsession from others wasn’t easy, but it was not nearly as hurtful as hiding her needs from herself. In fact, the hiding itself became satisfying; it released flaring sunspots of defiance, moments of triumph, in a life otherwise ruled by compromise.
Lewis argues that in addiction, the act of hiding bifurcates into social concealment and self-concealment, with the latter being the more psychologically injurious, while the former paradoxically becomes a source of gratification and agency.
, The Biology of Desire: Why Addiction Is Not a Disease, 2015thesis