others are as he sees them in the light of his externalizations and he merely responds to their being that way. What he does not feel is the fact that he responds to something which he himself has put into them.
Horney identifies the core paradox of externalization: the subject experiences his own projections as objective properties of others, making the mechanism exceptionally resistant to self-recognition.
, Neurosis and Human Growth: The Struggle Toward Self-Realization, 1950thesis